TONIGHT.

My name is Leslie. It was going to be Peyton. Then my name would have been Peyton Manning and life would have been a lot harder than it is right now. I’m a single, white female living in Williamsburg and you know what? Life is haaaarrrd.

The hardest part? Getting out of bed in the afternoon. Don’t roll your eyes at me, hypothetical reader. I see you jerking yourself off into an old tube sock. Gross, reader, that’s not even a clean sock. Life is hard and you know it or else you’d have a warm body to ejaculate into.

No but really, the hardest part about being a single white female is the being a single white female. Why hasn’t anyone started a scholarship fund for white girls whose parents won’t pay for graduate school because they want to take their money and “retire” to North Carolina. Why North Carolina? I have no fucking idea. So I sit in my apartment and write about my hard life to distract myself from making it better. Because who wants to be happy? This is why my life is so hard: 

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Oh hey there, it’s been a while. Hurricane Sandy really messed shit up this week, troll of the hemisphere. Thankfully our friends at XANADUDE are going to bring us disaster relief in the form of NOCTURNAL, a party co-hosted by one of our very own Culture Whores, Paul Leopold. Artsluts working it.

We couldn’t have predicted the massive Lights Out when we picked Nocturnal as the XANADUDE theme but it seems oddly appropriate. After a week of anxiety, living through NYC underwater, no public transit and a cancelled Halloween we are ready to cut loose this Saturday. We will have charging stations available for phones and we are looking forward to blowing off some of our pent up energy on the dancefloor with all our friends. We are extending our $5 entry till midnight so come early and stay late

NOCTURNAL: Saturday night at 10 @ “That LOFT above Public Assembly” , 70 North 6th Street (Williamsburg/Brooklyn).

This band is one to watch, I’m telling you, my Spidey Sense is tingling. Believers are an impressive and enigmatic new rock band whose EP is a complex cacophony of sound that trembles and shudders with riotous energy while also being remarkably precise and emotional. I get a bit of Fleet Foxes from them at times (without the harmonies), with some Kings of Leon (pre hearing “Use Somebody” for the 9,000,000th time) and Future Islands thrown in for good measure.

I caught their first New York show EVER at Glasslands Gallery in Williamsburg last night and it was so worth the long, rain soaked walk from the L train. The band played their EP in it’s entirety and their sound, while fantastic on record, was so much more alive and addictive in person. Listen to their EP below:

Believers also just premiered the music video for “Finder” on Stereogum, watch the Andrew Droz Palermo-directed clip below:

I will be keeping a very close eye on these guys, who are very studly in addition to being wildly talented. How log do you think it will be until Pitchfork ruins them?

-MARK DOMMU

If Passion Pit and Miike Snow fucked in a bar bathroom in Michigan, the baby would be Stepdad. Their debut album, Wildlife Pop, is a visceral and joyous explosion of dance-worthy tunes. We caught their show last week Glasslands Gallery in Williamsburg and, while they still have a ways to go before they sound as tight live as they do on their record, it was a fun set full of rambunctious energy.

The crowd at Glasslands went wild for Stepdad, who we had a chance to chat with before the show. They spent the summer on Warped Tour which, according to lead singer ultramark, was, “Fun…but weird…we didn’t fit in well musically. We loved everyone else who was playing. It would have been an amazing time if people actually  liked our music.” Well guys, we like it so fuck all those 14-year-olds drinking Georgi and Kool-Aid out of water bottles.

Check out some of their music videos below and pop your cherry:

-MARK DOMMU

-PHOTOS BY MATT OLIVE / NIGHT URCHIN